Are you a peace-loving person? Does one evade conflict in your relationship? Are you inclined to withdraw when somebody argues with you? Your motive for withdrawing into silence is noble - you do not need to cause a lot of issues and thus it's better to stay quiet.
Have you ever looked at yourself within the mirror when you are giving the opposite person the silent treatment? Study your facial expression and your body language. It in all probability makes the opposite person feel totally helpless, angry or annoyed, that consciously or unconsciously is your aim anyway. Is silence a sound strategy though? Does it work for you in the long term? Will it improve your relationship? Hardly likely. The person who lives together with your sulk may interpret it as a methodology of punishment, obstinacy, disdain, criticism, rejection or "S/he doesn't love me anymore". There will be some retaliation. You'll be tried or punished in some or alternative means and mutually harmful game can last for an extended time.
We tend to all tend to browse individuals's body language in step with our needs (the need to be loved) or what we have a tendency to worry (rejection, criticism) and answer that. It's so simple to send the wrong message when you offer someone the silent treatment - a bad investment in yourself and your relationship.
Saying nothing is also a communication technique and leaves the field wide open for mind-reading and miscommunication. Your words build out less than 20% of what you say.
Raise yourself: What's the worst thing which will happen if you're honest and say what you think or feel? Instead of worrying concerning using the proper words concentrate on your tone of voice and your body language. These are a lot of a lot of potent than the words themselves. The instant you say one thing in a very calm and cheap way, an analogous response is probably to come back from the opposite person. When your voice goes up, the other one's voice can go up. After you lower your tone of voice and speak more slowly and calmly, you are creating a positive contribution towards your own life and your relationship. Communication can only improve. It's a lot of easier to alter your tone of voice than changing the words or feelings.
How will one stop this mutually damaging pattern?
?Defend yourself from emotional pain and do not absorb the other person's baggage - then you do not have to convey it back to them again. Pretend you have a bubble around you. Place a soft color that you like into the bubble. The emotional elements of the brain respond absolutely to that color and your brain cannot distinguish between e real protecting bubble and an imaginary one.
?Speak additional slowly, lower your voice or let your voice go gently up and down. This strategy neutralises the opposite person's anger and frustration.
?Be honest and say what you are feeling while not blaming or shaming the other person.
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