Do you ever worry about your spouse turning into involved in an affair? Have you wondered what makes a spouse easy prey for somebody else who's looking for an excuse to stray?
If so, then you've got lots of company. Given all the news stories and flicks about cheating spouses, you'd need to be an ostrich together with your head buried in the sand not to at least sometimes think about the possibility.
If you have always said, "My husband (or wife) would never cheat on me," you are being unrealistic and na?ve. Most individuals who have affairs are not bad or weak people, but they're vulnerable at the time the affair begins.
Of course, there are some husbands and wives who engage in multiple affairs and seem incapable of being faithful--that's a different situation. In this article, I'm specializing in spouses who have a history of being faithful and then surprise themselves and others by cheating on their partner.
Here are some points to contemplate as you consider ways that to strengthen your marriage and scale back the odds that your spouse can notice solace in somebody else's arms:
1. A spouse who is experiencing issues with aging and the stereotypic "mid-life crisis" is vulnerable. Shallowness can plummet as a personal feels less attractive and desirable, and this can build her (or him) more susceptible to attention and compliments from someone other than the spouse.
2. A spouse who feels unappreciated by his (or her) partner is at higher risk for turning into involved with someone else who appreciates his good qualities and doesn't take him for granted. Several spouses who stray say that the mate only viewed them as a paycheck or someone to create their life easier. They did not feel appreciated for who they were and their positive contributions to the marriage.
3. A spouse who is during a sexless wedding is very vulnerable. This is also true when there is a sexual relationship but the partner treats sex as a "duty." This can be a positive set-up for trouble.
Couples typically strive to coast along for years in this case, with the unhappy mate attempting to tolerate true for the sake of the marriage and/or the children. However the reality is that the spouse is typically straightforward prey when "hot sex" with somebody who enjoys it comes along.
4. A spouse who will not feel emotionally connected to her (or his) mate is at risk. In this case, the individual might first become involved in an emotional affair with a co-employee or business associate, and this may eventually result in more. A marriage that is lacking intimacy and a feeling of connection between the spouses could be a set-up for an affair.
5. A spouse who is depressed, anxious, and unusually stressed is at risk. When a personal is depressed, worried, or under intense prolonged pressure, sexual libido decreases. Therefore, the spouse may erroneously conclude that he or she is not in love with the partner, not realizing that the physiological and emotional conditions are impacting the shortage of sexual desire.
Conjointly, depressed people tend to focus on the negatives in an exceedingly relationship and minimize the positives. Therefore, it is easy for them in charge the partner for any issues in the marriage and view a new sexual partner who arouses their desire as validation that everything is that the spouse's fault.
6. A spouse who is in an unhappy marriage with long-term unresolved issues is at risk. Discouragement, anger, frustration, and bitterness cause emotional debris to accumulate that produces a spouse more susceptible to an affair. Usually, one or each partners lack the skills to resolve the issues and either they haven't tried marriage counseling or they didn't realize the therapist who was right for them.
7. A spouse who has issue in confronting relationship problems directly is prone to an affair. She (or he) will be probably to faux that everything is okay and try to bury any negative feelings in order to stay the peace.
But eventually the unresolved feelings will surface and snuff out the eagerness within the marriage. At that time, the partner still might not have a clue regarding the depth of his mate's unhappiness and her susceptibility to a possible affair.
8. A spouse who does not have good downside solving skills and doesn't understand what to try and do about an unsatisfying marriage is vulnerable. It's not uncommon for a spouse in this position to drift into an affair as a method to finally escape the wedding when the partner finds out. That approach, the spouse offers the mate a solid reason to request a divorce and take the initiative in ending the marriage.
9. A spouse who uses escape as a manner to avoid having to confront problems is vulnerable. The escape behavior can take the shape of alcohol or drug abuse, working continuously, or involvement in an affair. When a spouse features a history of not taking responsibility and not managing issues, then escaping the reality of the marriage issues by putting focus and energy into an affair as a distraction and diversion is a terribly real possibility.
10. A spouse who does not feel that the partner extremely knows her (or him) for who she is and doesn't care about her is vulnerable. Several times, a private concerned in an affair can tell a counselor that the other person understands her and knows her a lot of higher than her own husband does. If a spouse acts uninterested in the mate's life, thoughts, and feelings, the ensuing hurt and emotional pain will create her more vulnerable to an affair.
Some of the situations listed above are situational, such as aging and prolonged stress, and may require giving a spouse additional attention and nurturance for a time. Others are reflective of a long-term relationship with major unresolved issues that might benefit from wedding counseling.
As you assess your own wedding and what steps to require to strengthen it, keep in mind the importance of paying attention and giving consistent time, effort, and focus to your relationship.
No matter you do, do not take your marriage or your spouse for granted. Once all, if you don't appreciate and price your spouse, there is in all probability someone else out there who would be glad to step in and fill the void.
Author Resource:-
Leslie Donner has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in affairs,you can also check out his latest website about:
Art Glass Paper Weights which reviews and lists the best
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